Why Russian Women Don’t Marry Russian Men
One of the pleasures of visiting Russia is that there are just so many single women. It’s like they’re all on special offer. But then you get to thinking: ‘what’s wrong with all these girls?’
If you ever enquire why a woman isn’t married, you will always get the same litany of complaints about Russian men. ‘Oh, Russian men! Zey are all drunks. Zey ‘as no monnay. Zey ‘as no clue about ze gee spot. And so on.
The writer Tatiana Shcherbina (pictured) is scathing in depth. She writes:
Do you know what hell and paradise are like? They are described well in one and perhaps the only international anecdote: hell is British cuisine, French equipment, German bureaucracy, an American lover and the Italian police, while paradise is French cuisine, German equipment, the British bureaucracy, the American police, and an Italian lover.
There are many variants, but still without anything Russian. However we can describe hell without outside help. It is merely a consequence, a by-product of the activity of one infernal creature – the Russian man.
Tatiana puts a lot down to history. The anihilation of men that began in Russia with the first World War and the Civil War continued through the purges of Lenin and Stalin to WW2 and Afghanistan. As a result, women became adept at bringing up families without any help. The only males around were sons who were prized, pampered and ultimately spoiled. ‘The son of a single mother is the deity to whom she makes her sacrifice, a tsar who should never trouble himself.’ This apparently is how the Russian son has grown up to be a waste of space as a husband.
To be fair, the single mothers of Russia - dubbed the ‘tank women’ by the poet Nekrasov - have brought it on themselves. But since history is irreversible, Russian women prefer to look for foreign partners. Tatiana writes:
Among the various natural resources exported today from Russia there is one which is unique – the Russian woman. She could represent Russia in paradise. Loving, patient, unpretentious and hardworking, the Russian wife is valued all over the world.
She is smart and obliging and gives herself up to the world market trying to escape the nightmare of some Russian husband at home.
Hmmm. The flaw in the argument is, of course, that no one’s perfect and foreign men simply have a different set of faults as well as cultural and historical baggage. Tatiana’s idealisation of foreign men - not uncommon in Russia - is as false as many American males’ preception of Russian tank women as ‘cosy traditional wives’.
I came across this reality check the other day by Roger Wiegel.
In the past twenty years we as Americans have disconnected from everything in our lives except money. It started with failing to realize the importance of familial relationships and progressed to gender role confusion and reversal.
There are now no role models in the home. In many cases, men are no longer men, the protector and provider, and women are no longer women, the nurturer and caregiver. The man who is a strong head of household is now considered a dinosaur by our society.
What started the international dating scene were the people who were frustrated with the choices and felt an emptiness in their daily lives here in the U.S. The sad thing is that although Americans say they want relationships we are often just too busy, too preoccupied, and just too self-absorbed in many cases.
Many American men believe that they will find strong family structures with Russian women, when in fact there have been hardly any traditional family structures in Russia since 1917. Equally, girls looking for American husbands to take over the tank role will be disappointed. Do any tanking around the house in the US and you’d probably get put in the slammer by feminists.
It’s always amusing that so many East-West dates believe they will rescue each other from the local product. When really it is about the same as being rescued from the Titanic by the Hindenburg.
See also: Russian Women At A Glance and Soviet Women FAQs
“Along with the notion of the thoroughly modern dyev that money and self-respect are inextricably linked. But that’s probably another ‘weighty topic’ in itself.”
You bet it is!
What are you talking about? It was only in the 20th century that people all over the world started *shedding* that old prejudice (en masse, I mean).
For example, in 19th (and even early 20th) century English parlance it was quite common to refer to people richer than yourself as - your “betters”. ’nuff said!
And I know I am very late for this discussion, but hey, “weighty” subjects don’t have an expiration date, right?
To PhD,
I’m a russian man, looking for american wife. ICQ# 463694430
Russian women suck. I married one, I know. What a goddamn mistake. And shes no bean pole bitch of 23. I’m 63 and she is 57. She is selfish, never apologetic, greedy, self centered, never complimentary, brazen, outspoken, never gives any type of affection on her own, is demanding, is highly critical of others, doesn’t like anything and never goes out of her way to do any simple task that might bring me some enjoyment. I would rather spend time alone, any I quite often do. Everyone finds me kind and polite and giving, except her. If any of you stupid guys are considering a Russian wife, you’d better seriously investigate it deeply. Kenny C.
I am Juani, from centroamerica I looking a russian men, single, young and professional. Write me
I am dating a Russian, He is now a citizen of the United States. He is a hard worker and he speaks good English and he makes me Happy….He wants to be a cop and I hope he goes for it. He is only been here for 3 years and he is from Moscow. So, I think there are good and bad men/women all over the world, it doesn’t mean you should judge a book by it’s cover. That just means that you need to read more of that book before purchasing it…..
Tatiana
Hi Juani. My name is Rustam (GRR). I’m 26 years old, single, high educated. If you’re interested write please. Here is my mail. rustam_grr@mail.ru
Wow I never the truth about the Russian women. Every time I look up Russian men and how they treat their women. They always say that they are the victims, but its the other way around from reading all those comments. Gees Russian women are cruel. Thanks for the reality check about Russian men and women.
[...] qu’ils n’apparaitraient pour les femmes de leur pays que comme des brutes et des ivrognes dépensiers, les étrangères les considéreraient comme «de vrais mâles. À la fois romantiques, hommes de [...]
Great Post…. Thanks
Hey Guy’s
I just brought a russian lady to the States and I am regretting it. She is a fox… for sure. But cold as the deepest ice from Siberia. I regret what I did for sure. But she is here now and I have to make the best of it. I have already brought a philippineo here and that was just as disastrous. So the bottom line is no matter where you go… Women suck. But there are a few who don’t. So finding the “few” is the objective. And its unfortunate but….it all comes down to luck. Sorry guys… but that is the bottom line
Having arrived at 60 surviving my ‘mother’ trying to kill me three times and the ex endeavouring to destroy me and now have lost everything I hold dear; that is the house I built with my own hands, my (dead ex-wife) my children who were taught never to listen to me or speak to me, my career and my dog…I ask myself, “Why would any man want to go near a woman”?
They have no honour, no style, no class, no compassion. The only subject matter they appear to have the capacity to discuss, is money, cell-phones, shoes and coffee.
No wonder hookers make so much cash in the west!
So, I was looking for web resources for a term paper I am writing, and instead stumbled across this… wow. Now I am curious, we have the view points of western (generally American and British from this thread it seems) men on Russian women, Russian women about Western women, Russian women about other Russian women, Western women about Russian women (bitch-fest much?) and finally back to the classic male vs. female debates of Russian women about Western men… so where do the opinions of Russian men fit into all of this? There haven’t been many posts and I am curious to see the logic from the other side of the fence. Maybe as stated before men and women regardless of East vs West are just awful in general? Societal differences are to blame? Russian men, what is your say?
I married a russian from Kaliningrad after meeting her in 2005 whilst working there.Not only is she beautiful but she is the most fantastic wife you could ever want. Yes they like to have a good life but doesnt everybody.
Dont go looking for a wife, you wont find the right one. When the time is right you will meet the right person. Kaliningrad is a fantastic place as are the people but flaunt your money there and someone will help you spend it without any problem.
I would love to meet a russian lady.I live in jamaica and it is a beautiful,democratic place,warm people and climate.
I welcome any woman who is rich and educated to give me a call at 18764791023 or email me at kingcozy@yahoo.com.
Come away with me,I will love and take care of you.
send photos to email…bye.
I would like to meet any woman who wants a good man.I live in bob marley country of jamaica.If you want to escape your harsh country and come to mine then come and marry me.
call 18764790123 or email me at kingcozy@yahoo.com.
I am looking a rich and educated russian lady,any age,any size…she must be sexual as i am a black man.
Hey PhD, you claim you are “Eastern European” but never bothered to tell what country you are from. That means you are just some American-born fat cow trash bag with herpes.
Oh and as for Annushka Golddigger. could you try being a better troll ? Oh wait, you can’t cause you’re a gay homosexual male. Chances are you are gay homosexual trailer trash loser that takies it up the butt from your dad.
Kenny C you sound like a gay homo. Russian women do not like closeted gay men.
Hot Russian and other Eastern European women are superior to American women. Most American men are pathetic as well since they are not open to learning other cultures and most 99 percent of White American women are worthless living beings.
i need a wife i have been maried before i mis it flease call me at 17343981319 or em at lloydwebb@comcast.net.
i need a wife i have been maried before i mis it flease call me at 17343981319 or em at lloydwebb@comcast.net.i dont wont to live alone any more idont wont to sleep alone any more.new at computer please help.
i think i can find a women here for love.
yall just a bunch o’ poor beggars that need to get a life!!!
Wow, between the article itself and the comments, you could cut the ethnocentrism here with a knife. This is, however, a perfect example of the out-group homogeneity bias. Because most people are cognitively lazy, they have an experience with someone or even a couple of people from an “out-group”, like Russian women or American men, and then automatically believe that everyone from that group is exactly the same as the person/people they have already experienced, while at the same time being offended when other groups assign stereotypical characteristics to their native group. The simple fact of the matter is that, yes, we are all products of our culture, but even those of us within the same culture are not all the same. I have met Russian women that are absolutely lovely people, but I’ve also met Russian women who were serious manipulators. The same goes for American women. One of my dearest friends and colleagues is Russian, and I don’t think his wife could ask for a better husband. By the same token, I’ve met Russian men whom I wouldn’t have spent more than ten minutes in their company voluntarily. And precisely the same goes for American men. Reducing people to cultural stereotypes is not only a diservice to the people you’re trying to describe, it’s pointless and self-defeating. There will always be people that don’t fit the stereotype no matter what the stereotype is, and basing your decisions about other people on overgeneralizations means that you may overlook critical information and either completely miss someone wonderful or get majorly burned by someone who wasn’t what you thought they were. It’s much better just to take people on a case by case basis.
And incidentally, if you seem to only be encountering a certain sort of unsavory person, the likelihood of the problem being the dispositions of women or men or some other section of the population as a whole is very, very low. It’s more likely to be a problem with you, and means you should sit down and do some serious thinking about what you’re doing to attract these people in the first place and what you need to be doing to attract the sort of person you want.
Nice to meet you,
How are you and how is your work? i hope that all is well with you, My name is Eric Owusu, from Ghana in the Western part of Africa. I live and work in my country I’m a single man of 29 years of age, looking forward to my better subordinate in mere future. I wish to associate with my partner in all areas of life. i know that she may be suprise how i will treating her., i am looking for honest partner, then i feel to drop this few line to you , and i will like you to contact me through my email owusueric2006@yahoo.com so that we can know each other and exchange our words and pictures, and we maybecome partner.
Remember the distance does not matter what matters is the love we share with each other.
i am waiting to hear from you soon.
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hi am bandeed from dubai.29y MALE, am looking for a beautifull russian lady, please any one who care, contact me:
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I actually was engaged previously and was getting married to a guy that I had fallen completely in love with. He had a great job and was smart and a good looking guy that was classy and serious. He left me 2 weeks before the wedding and I found out he was sleeping with a russian girl. To this day they are still together and he has completely changed into someone that only talks about sex and money when in the past he was always classy and reserved. He seems to have gone crazy acting like his 20 again when he’s 34 and the girl 20… She was able to get him and keep him to herself, got between us when we were almost married!!!!!! It completely destroyed my life. Wondering if she could really love him knowing he was engaged to me when she stole him away….
This piece and associated comments seem a bit dated, as word has gotten around about Russian/Soviet women (which includes those raised under the Bolshevik system or its gangster capitalism successors), and it isn’t good. Simply put, these women — especially those who make their way to the West — are viewed as intelligent, amoral, somewhat sociopathic whores. Men with options do not want to marry them or date them, and know to wear especially good condoms when fornicating with them. (And the recent spy scandals have helped further spread this word and cement this perception.) Russian women are for Russian men. They best understand how to handle them. It will be centuries, if ever, before the moral harms of the last 96 years of history can be undone.
Russian women for Russian men. Bullseye.
I’m one of those guys who just love the sexy Russian accent, short skirts and impossibly good looks. But I just never could bring myself to go for them.
I prefer to keep my genitals attached to my body.
There is a lot of unreasonable negativity within many of these comments.
Marrying a Russian woman is not for everyone indeed. However, instead of complaining about the differences or making dumb comments like the fellow above, why not educate yourself on the subject matter?
The best way to do this is to join a forum like ruadventures.com, perhaps grab yourself a copy of The Russian Bride Guide and read and learn like I did. That way, you go into the endeavour knowing what you are doing rather than blundering in the dark like most men do. Understanding the culture is the key; to do that you must read and learn.
Thousands of men are happily married to Russian women. I am one of them.
be careful trying buy them with gifts and money, get to know them properly before you decided to be with them us husband and wife. i know they love money cos it is all they know, their is a lot of them in cambridge in uk just dating Arabs for their money.i got money bt it is not everything in life. i am ok, happily married to a russian lady, i thanks God for her, she is lovely.
so this is certainly just what will become of darwanism
hiiiiiiiii sex
Ricky, I’m not entirely dumb. And I wouldn’t refer to anyone els like that. It’s been my experience of meeting many guys who’ve married russian women and have ended up utterly plundered. As one of the other comments said, money appears the only thing that motivates them.
ummm…. wow
first Not everyone is the same
second each culture has its differance
third half the people posting here do NOT have a clue
and finally I have been talking to my best friend from Moscow and she is visiting the us soon
We have been talking online and by phone for 8 years now and if you take the time to study the culture and understand the difference then you can see why more then half these comments or so wrong
I’m a 18 year old American man I’m pretty good looking but short like 5 foot 6 inches, I have no problem meeting American women but I want to meet a russian woman to actually settle down with so if you’re interested hit me up punk_rocker_765@yahoo.com
I was married to a Russian woman and lived in Ukraine for a year. I have traveled quite a bit in the region. I would say that Russia and the former Soviet Union are the worst countries on earth to look for a wife. Life is tough there. It is not possible to live in a society as brutal, corrupt and dog eat dog as Russia and not be affected by it. There, the evil do prosper and it has always been such. It takes a while on the ground there to fully comprehend how cruel and cold the people really are. I don’t blame them; they are like abused children. They have been betrayed by each other and their society their entire lives. Of course there are exceptions. I have some lifelong friends from there that are the finest people I have ever met. But generally, the women are mercenary and faithless. Love and sex are just tools to get what you want. The divorce rate approaches 80%. It just is not the kind of place that produces kind loving people. Like begets like.
Hi I am doing a story for the Irish Independent on Russian women wanting to meet Irish men
do you know of this and can i talk to you about why Russian might wnt to date and meet men in Ireland
Thanks
STFU ALL OF YOU HATERS! WHO CARES ABOUT YOU GOLD DIGGERS! RUSSIAN MEN ARE PROBABLY LOOKING FOR OTHER RUSSIAN MEN ANYWAYS WITH WOMEN LIKE YOU AROUND!
LOOOOOOOOOL
Ok your american, and you have the money to buy, or order a girl from the internet to marry you. You dont love her, your not interested if she loves you, all you care is to get this beautiful perfect wife to fuck you, clean, cook, help you pay the rent etc etc etc….
What makes you think that a young beautiful girl would be with you, for yourself, if your the one ordering her from a website like an object first of all? Your getting what you asked for. And american women are no diferent than russians when it comes to it, or have you seem a really hot girl with an old or ugly man in America if he does not have money??? Because I havent
The thing is women like the best to themselves, and they should because most men would use you and trow you in the garbage as fast as they could. Just read some bitter american women comments here. Its about society not where people come from.
Re: Rachel
First of all, I realize that I could not write a coherent thought in Russian, so I understand why your comment is so hard to follow.
When I lived in the FSU, the Russian women were just as psycho with the Russian men that I knew. They are not limiting their narcissism to foreigners. Ah, the stories these poor guys had to tell. But they knew what to expect in advance, and knew better how to deal with it. Us naive westerners with morals and ethics don’t stand a chance. The way Russian women think and scheme is truly beyond the comprehension of most of us. We don’t think that way. Evil is not something we practice or know about. Marry a Russian woman and you will soon become familiar with it.
Ted
“First of all” you are assuming I am russian, wich I am not. Second if you having dificulties in following my comment, you should be the one to blame. I sujest you try reading more, it might increase your language habilities. Tolstoi is a great start, if you must.
Evil and heartless is to take advantage of a girls social condition to use her to satisfy your sexual and emotional needs. And when you do that, you deserve what you get.
I dont know if you have really already lived in any FSR, if you had you will have known that first of all, their culture is different from russian culture per se.
Second you would know that slavic culture, and russian women are very generous and friendly, what they want is a real man to take care of them. And I dont blame them for that, no woman wants a looser, the same way men want healthy, beautiful women.
“But they knew what to expect in advance, and knew better how to deal with it”. Everyone knows the dangers of online dating, what makes you think it would be diferent if you seeking a wife, IN RUSSIA? Of course they know what to expect, but they keep on because they expect something back, sexual and emotional favours. They do what they do out of free will, and latter when they come to clame the bill, they cant blame the girl for not sticking to it. You buy a blow up dool and complains because she speaks?!
Most of those girls come from poor backgrounds, broken families, I dont blame for not letting to be taken advantage of anymore. When they go to America, seeking a better life, a chance to survive, and help their families, when they refuse to be objects, they get blamed of being evil, hertless, etc. I bet you dont know what poverty is, or abuse, come face it when your a child and than tell me that what they are doing is wrong.
“Us naive westerners with morals and ethics don’t stand a chance” Yes westerners are the only ones with ethics and morals, and everyone else is dirty and evil, especially russians. Poor naive westerners they really dont have a change against evil, heartless Russians. Give me a break, go learn about ethnocentrism, history, learn about slavic and russian culture before you come here to make such racist comments.
I have great russian friends, both man and women, yes are narcissists, but arent we all in some degree? Dont you like beautiful women and nice cars? Dating a russian man is a very pleasant experience. Yes they act like arsewholes sometimes, but they are always very healthy and fit, and treats a woman like a queen. American/canadian men want you to pay the bill and if they do, they think you need to fuck them. Thats the thing its always about money, and getting back from the girl what you “invested” on her.
They can be selfish and narcissist but this is only a small aspect of the culture, and just because they are different does not make of them evil.