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Why Russian Women Don’t Marry Russian Men

sherbina

One of the pleasures of visiting Russia is that there are just so many single women. It’s like they’re all on special offer. But then you get to thinking: ‘what’s wrong with all these girls?’

If you ever enquire why a woman isn’t married, you will always get the same litany of complaints about Russian men. ‘Oh, Russian men! Zey are all drunks. Zey ‘as no monnay. Zey ‘as no clue about ze gee spot. And so on.

The writer Tatiana Shcherbina (pictured) is scathing in depth. She writes:

Do you know what hell and paradise are like? They are described well in one and perhaps the only international anecdote: hell is British cuisine, French equipment, German bureaucracy, an American lover and the Italian police, while paradise is French cuisine, German equipment, the British bureaucracy, the American police, and an Italian lover.

There are many variants, but still without anything Russian. However we can describe hell without outside help. It is merely a consequence, a by-product of the activity of one infernal creature – the Russian man.

Tatiana puts a lot down to history. The anihilation of men that began in Russia with the first World War and the Civil War continued through the purges of Lenin and Stalin to WW2 and Afghanistan. As a result, women became adept at bringing up families without any help. The only males around were sons who were prized, pampered and ultimately spoiled. ‘The son of a single mother is the deity to whom she makes her sacrifice, a tsar who should never trouble himself.’ This apparently is how the Russian son has grown up to be a waste of space as a husband.

To be fair, the single mothers of Russia - dubbed the ‘tank women’ by the poet Nekrasov - have brought it on themselves. But since history is irreversible, Russian women prefer to look for foreign partners. Tatiana writes:

Among the various natural resources exported today from Russia there is one which is unique – the Russian woman. She could represent Russia in paradise. Loving, patient, unpretentious and hardworking, the Russian wife is valued all over the world.

She is smart and obliging and gives herself up to the world market trying to escape the nightmare of some Russian husband at home.

Hmmm. The flaw in the argument is, of course, that no one’s perfect and foreign men simply have a different set of faults as well as cultural and historical baggage. Tatiana’s idealisation of foreign men - not uncommon in Russia - is as false as many American males’ preception of Russian tank women as ‘cosy traditional wives’.

I came across this reality check the other day by Roger Wiegel.

In the past twenty years we as Americans have disconnected from everything in our lives except money. It started with failing to realize the importance of familial relationships and progressed to gender role confusion and reversal.

There are now no role models in the home. In many cases, men are no longer men, the protector and provider, and women are no longer women, the nurturer and caregiver. The man who is a strong head of household is now considered a dinosaur by our society.

What started the international dating scene were the people who were frustrated with the choices and felt an emptiness in their daily lives here in the U.S. The sad thing is that although Americans say they want relationships we are often just too busy, too preoccupied, and just too self-absorbed in many cases.

Many American men believe that they will find strong family structures with Russian women, when in fact there have been hardly any traditional family structures in Russia since 1917. Equally, girls looking for American husbands to take over the tank role will be disappointed. Do any tanking around the house in the US and you’d probably get put in the slammer by feminists.

It’s always amusing that so many East-West dates believe they will rescue each other from the local product. When really it is about the same as being rescued from the Titanic by the Hindenburg.

See also: Russian Women At A Glance and Soviet Women FAQs

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294 comments to Why Russian Women Don’t Marry Russian Men

  • Robin

    Careful guys, you’re starting to get as bad as me.

  • Guys

    Is that really possible?

  • Robin

    Absolutely not.

  • Javier

    How about those N Y yankees . Great game ,anybody wants a nice cold beer,hot dogs and roasted peanuts.At least this is what I am used to when I go to a baseball game. What is the greatest sports that Russian woman like? Is it Skatting ? singles or pairs ? . And what snacks do they serve in the arena? This is something I know nothing about but would like to know?

  • Robin

    A great ice-breaker Javier. Apologies to everyone. I’ll be discreet and on story in future.

  • Robin

    Mahammad, you were twee enough to invite me to leave the site and I thought in only fair you should have a look at this for your edification. It’s not a hint or anything…
    http://www.experienceproject.com/groups/Am-A-Smartass/46471

  • Javier

    Well Robin these are things that really interest me. I have not seen all this page in its entirety yet. I also like Russian music for example, The other day I found on youtube this song.?????? .

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVZLKkcTsVA

    Wow what a great singer this woman. If anyone knows of other great Russian singers I want to know . I have looked on this site and There needs to be a section or category about this in my opinion . Were do i go and find on this site names of Russian singers or old Russian songs.We can look beyond our own music and cultures in sites like this so I hope it gets added on quickly

  • Samson

    Stay away from ruadventures and their one-sided garbage site.

    However to say that a Russian woman cannot divorce is total nonsense. You have hit the nail right on the head. It is a false assumption that is being spread by dating sites and forums. I know of one Russian dating owner who owns a Russian dating site and is in fact divorced. Go Figure!

    Plus there is even a site dedicated to Russian woman divorcing from foreign men with stories on their about such known as russian-divorce.com. So again let’s cut all the nonsense, foolishness, and fantasy because Russian women can indeed get divorced.

    These are women and they may be culturally different but they are STILL women. Anybody who says otherwise is an Idiot.

  • Ravi singh

    i am looking russian girl for marriage

    if any girls interested to marry a indian men please send me your contact details to me other wise you can contact me…i am very serious person i am looking russian girl for marriage i need your help please help me… if i will get my future partner i will marry her ASAP…

    Regards
    Ravi
    My mail id: ravi.singh899@gmail.com
    Mobile No. +91 9535207414

  • Fred

    I am married to the most wonderful, most caring, most loving woman I have ever met. Yes, she’s Russian, no we didn’t meet on a website, we met when I was on business and she was too. We have had this conversation as to what’s wrong with Russian men and some of what has been written is true. Yes, they are pampered by their mothers and their wives. They drink a lot, and they will, if given the chance, womanise. However, the biggest complaint seems to be they lack ambition and adventure, preferring to stay at home and be waited on.

    My wife is stunningly beautiful, but then so am I (handsome) having been out with a host of women who were models. However, I needed something more than just looks and despite many girlfriends, and a 20 year long marriage, I only ever found it in my amazing Russian wife.

    Russia is changing. There are many highly educated, well paid, intelligent and gorgeous Russian women. The myth that they’re all after clothes etc is a non-sense. American men and women have the worst dress sense in the world. Russian women are on a par with Italian and French women (though the men look like they raided a 1980s sports shop). Russian women really care about how they look and what they eat. Try telling me that American women bother. Obesity is endemic in the USA, and it will never really take a hold in Russia because Russian women care about themselves.

    As for Russian women being promiscuous, I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but in my experience I would say not. A good husband is a prize (as is a good wife) and I can’t imagine a Russian women going to so much trouble to find someone only to cheat on him.

    It is possible that US men are not sophisticated enough for a Russian woman. Russian girls are probably more suited to European men since we’re better educated, better dressers and don’t weigh 320lbs.

  • Hopey

    Fred, you sound like an asshole, jealous of American men. What do you care how someone dresses, that’s superficial. To judge someone because of their weight is cruel and arrogant. Bet you own a faggy pink shirt that you wear to work thinking that’s totally awesome. Good luck with your marriage after your wife gets pregnant.

  • Hopey

    WHEN will you, soulless cruel jerks understand that when shit happens in your life, it’s just karma getting back at you for what you are doing to other people/ SO DON”T FUCKING COMPLAIN
    Superficial people like you cause this
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVpSqw1kPQw&feature=relmfu

    People die from hurt and pressure of your unwanted, dumb, uncalled for cruel superficial comments about their appereance.

  • Hopey

    This link I gave to, at 8:35 the woman says “it all started when a ‘friend’ said that I was fat”. Can you fucking imagine the consequences that comment made, that it ruined this woman’s life, her huband’s life, probably 3 innocent kids will become orphans. At 12:00 the Dr. Phil said that eating disorder has the HIGHEST mortality rate among eating disorders.
    My father is a doctor and once I picked up a phone and there was woman on the line saying that he (my father) had given some books to her daughter to read and she asked to tell she doesn’t need them anymore (at this point her voice changed into sobbering) because Julia (her 21 year old daughter died) over the weekend”. She died of an eating disorder, her organs failing one after another. The whole coucil of doctors in big city like Moscow couldn’t help her.

    I HOPE THAT YOU BURN IN HELL. BE PROUD OF YOUR SLIM FIGURES, FAGGOTS

  • Hopey

    Now I haven’t posted anything on this site for over a month, haven’t checked much into it, but why is that, each time I come back I see cruel, insensetive, moronic comments from self-perceived false pretence people who perceive themselves as winners in life and brag about their education and sofistication. This week I come to a 10 year old girl, whom I tutor English, who resumed her school, just for me to find out that she hasn’t grown a sentimeter of height during summer and is now shortest in her class (having 6ft tall dad), lost weight and refuses to eat over a comments made by her own father and her gymnastic teacher calling her fat. I cannot fucking believe it. There is a special place in hell for such people.

  • Hopey

    Each time there is an old dude with his middle age life crisis who believes himself so handsome and irrisitable, who dumped his wife over lust that he calls “true love”. Married some chick who could be his daughter having indecent unethical type of relationship at work (!) which he actually brags to be better than other people meeting online.

  • mic

    Hopey you are a nutter thats for sure haha.
    You take the bait so easy haha not hard to piss
    you of owwww hopey hopey dont cry its all a joke.
    mabe just mabe hopey could be a man

  • fred

    i can bench press a buick hopey you are a bitch!!!!

  • Hopey

    f*ck you, fred! You are a molodyashiysa kozlodoi, don’t like when someone tells the truth about you

  • Ryan

    We need to realize cultural differences as well as get rid of stereotypes. You’ll hear both horror stories and glowing success stories regarding anything, every situation is different. The biggest problem existing in the human specie at this moment is what so many are choosing to be - stupid, materialistic, disconnected malignant narcissists.

  • donkeyotee

    no one chooses to be stupid materialistic disconnected narcissists. Those are all symptoms my friend

  • Hopey

    Mic, I am not a man. If YOU BOTHERED to look at the links of the videos I posted previously, as to what an impact some idiots’ comments about body have on someone’s life, but you are way too lazy, dumb redneck. You will never grow out of it. Moron!

  • Hopey

    Bottom line is that most of you, soulless morons, who throw around comments about women being fat,probably have overweight mothers - 90% of you, that you are ashamed of. Bet you will betray your own mother for self image. Shame on you, pieces of shit.

  • Russian/German

    Dear people, this topic has been exhausted, please stop abusing each other, it is not the best way finding the truth.
    Everyone is different and there are no bad nations, there are bad people. Things you discuss are found in every country. We should value good sides. And before judging others, we should look at ourself.. nobody is perfect in this world..
    As long as 2 people are happy together, it doen’t matter what country they come from, what their skin color, eyes’ or bodies’ shapes are.. what matters is their happiness..
    I hope you all have a beautiful, kind and a happy day in your part of the world.

  • Hopey

    Yes, I hope that you are all happy with cheap, nasty, narcissistic liar hookers whom you picked on basis of their low weight, like Daniel’s wife. I am 100% sure Fred got the same prize ( what decent woman would sleep with someone from work, what decent woman would be a home wrecker). be happy with what you choose each time you book next trip to Odessa. Of course those western women are fat, giving birth to giant assholes like you! I am not a man, normal weight and I am 100% Russians, I am just so sick and tired of you, pieces of shit, enjoy that only “virtue” of low weight whomever you hang out with has to offer!

  • Lena

    I must say the to Russian girls: “Never, ever marry foreigner! Our Russian men are better than other men!” I am saying from my experience. Especcialy when you are good Russian girl, never, ever believe to foreigners! I had man from Asia and nothing good. They speak so beautiful but this is all are lies. Please Russian woman take our Russian men they are really better than others!

  • donkeyotee

    you had a man from asia and that did not work out so you say all foreigners are inferior to Russian men?
    asian men are no yard stick to judge all non Russian men.
    non russian men may be a bit lazy and stupid but they have good hearts and make good friends.

  • gul

    so what’s up?

  • LOLa

    I have had both Russian men and American men. American men are definitely better in bed, they know exactly what to do. Russian men all huff and puff for nothing, they just don’t get it that you need to please your partner in order to get great sex. Russian men THINK they are the God’s gift to humanity and everything should revolve around them.

    Of course, not everything so simple and some American men can be horrible as well. But if I had to choose, I would choose an American man over a Russian one any day. Why? Because Russians are corrupted by living under tyrants for all of their long history. They just cannot have normal relationships with women.

    There are some nice Russian men, but Russian women fight for them, so they are all married.

  • Ali

    good experience all you guys hahaha

  • Terry

    Lola. how actually do russian women fight for a man? do they run up to another woman in the street and start scratching her? does that approach really change a russian mans inclinations? what exactly is a “good” russian man? do you mean a man who works all week and does not go to bars for a drink for example? do russian women really take regular “western” men seriously when they pursue them?

  • LOLa

    How do Russian women fight for a man? They seduce him. Unfortunately, it is way too easy to do.
    I know more than a dozen stories when a younger woman was able to “steal” another woman’s husband. Those women will go to great lengths in order to get what they want. They don’t even care if there are kids involved.

    One more thing about Russian men: the culture encourages them to cheat. I mean, many people around the world cheat, don’t get me wrong, but most people feel guilty about it. Most Russian men think it is normal to cheat on their spouses, some of them even brag about their girlfriends. Disgusting.

    And a lot of them drink drink. They also smoke and, as a result of it, die early. No wonder Russian women are looking for foreign husbands.

  • Laurie

    ?????, ??? ???. ??????? ??????? ???????, ??????????? ?? ???, ?????? ??????? ?? ????????? ?????? ????????. ?? ?????? ? ???? ???????. ??? ???????? ?????????, ?????? ? ?????? ??? ???? ????? ? ??????? ?? ???????. ??? ????? ???????? ????? ?????, ?????? ?? ???????. ??? ??????????????. ? ??????? ??????? ???????, ??, ???????.

  • Daniel

    We need to realize cultural differences as well as get rid of stereotypes. You’ll hear both horror stories and glowing success stories regarding anything, every situation is different. The biggest problem existing in the human specie at this moment is what so many are choosing to be - stupid, materialistic, disconnected malignant narcissists

  • Jester

    The fat ugly american man that no american woman wants..he’s all your ladies! Your the one who has to sleep with him and watch his sports while gobbling pounds of greasy chips and cheap beer or better yet, on the internet trying to replace you while your calling on the phone complaining to your mom back in Russia somewhere in Montana or some small country town that nobody would want to visit anyway,these are not prizes to be won..so take ‘em..plz. to women who think they have the yacht, do u really believe he wouldn’t hire an excellent aggressive lawyer who enjoys putting woman like this to pure shame as entertainment, times have changed. Welcome to the U.S.A

  • Jester

    Hot Russian and other Eastern European women are superior to American women. Most American men are pathetic as well since they are not open to learning other cultures and most 99 percent of White American women are worthless living beings.

  • The Scottish Girl

    My boyfriend cheated on me with that Russian woman!

  • north east indian

    I am east indian and find this bs if this was the case there wouldn’t be any Russians period.

  • north east indian

    jester is correct

  • north east indian

    Russians are very cool people!

  • It just find a rich man free seems to be wrong here. And
    if you don’t even have a chance to get rich very quickly is to marry find a rich man free money.

  • LR

    Well, there are more men than women in Russia just like the USA but Russian men have the tendency to be bitchy chauvinists (hate it when you ask them out, etc.), bossy, and demanding like most other foreign and even American men. Plus, Russian men are very feisty. Even American women will avoid them like most foreign men because of this. In addition to that, Russian men are nerdy as well.

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