In May this year, Russia blockaded the Polish Port of Elblag. Elblag’s fairway to the Baltic crosses Russia’s Kaliningrad border in the beautiful Vistula Lagoon, and Russia closed the border. As a result, the town of Elblag is bankrupt.

Poland blames Russia of course but the dispute goes back to 2003, when Poland imposed a visa blockade on Kaliningrad Russians. Now Poland is going to dig its own channel to the Baltic - with, it hopes, 60 million from the EU. But Poland’s relations with its neighbours, EU or Russian, are at an all-time low. But let’s go back to last summer . . .

Elblag. A Model Of Designer Restoration. Thanks To EU Dosh.

Elblag sits in one of the most beautiful nature areas of Poland. It’s all blue lagoons and picturesque waterways. The historic port has been designer restored with the fat end of an EU grant, complete with sidewalk cafes and smart hotels. Pleasure cruises leave Elblag hourly, where you can enjoy the tinkling of ice in duty-free drinks, the screech of wildlife and the squeals of pretty Russian girls. There’s a maritime economy and ferries unload tourists from Scandinavia. No more.

You can say two things about Poland’s Potato Twins. The first is that they can’t take a joke. The second is that they play a terrible game of poker. While Russia and the EU have managed to negotiate progressive arrangements on visas - the latest signed recently in Sochi - Poland’s individual diplomacy appears only to achieve impasse.

Poland was out of step with its European neighbours over both Iraq and a common European defense policy. Living next door to Kaliningrad, its acquisition of an air force pointing at Russia wasn’t the brightest of neighbourly gestures. The latest demand of a public apology from Germany over the ‘potato’ cartoon, and that Germany censors its press, marks a descent into ridicule. A country with 20 per cent unemployment (some say double amongst the young), that’s currently bleeding brains and able-bodies, surely needs all the friends it can get.

Whether Germany will be one of the countries forking out for Poland’s canal around Russia remains to be seen. In the meantime, Polish barges may have to go overland. As it happens, Elblag is famous for its unique, overland barge lifts. The old technology could just come back in fashion.

Elblag’s Canal Lifts. Look, No Water.