This was always was one of my favourite Ray Charles numbers. Now there’s a new version out in Russia. It’s called, Let’s OD on DDT.

According to the St Petersburg Times:

The country has seen a spike in the number of people who have died or suffered illnesses in the past six weeks from drinking disinfectants.

The Tver region town of Rzhev saw the greatest concentration of incidents, with 11 people dying since Aug. 21 from drinking disinfectant from 5-liter plastic canisters.

I wrote earlier that no good would come of the new alcohol restrictions and people would only seek substitutes. Even gave a link to Venedikt Yerofeyev - author of Moskva - Petushki - who’s character invented some pretty interesting cocktails. The most famous of these is ‘Bitch’s Guts’.

Venedikt Yerofeyev’s favourite cocktail, Bitch’s Guts’

Zhigulovskoye Beer - 100g.
‘Sadko’ (shampoo) - 30g.
Dandruff control solution - 70g.
‘B F’ glue - 15g.
Brake fluid - 30g.
Insecticide - 20g.

Before people accuse me of being irresponsible, I should add the disclaimer, ‘Don’t Try This At Home’. Yerofeyev himself did swallow just about anything and died of throat cancer. I read that, in Soviet times, non-State-registered artists were not allowed to sit around writing or to be unemployed. So the writers spent their time scribbling on trains, bribing the conductors with cocktails. The cocktails were not as exotic as those described in Moskva-Petushki, but still throat-dissolving and reputed to contain hydraulic brake-fluid.

After perestroika, Yerofeyev was able to perform his poem-play in Moscow. After the performance came a press conference. With his throat in an advanced state of decay, the only way to interview Yerofeyev was by pressing a microphone against his throat.

With all the potatoes in Russia, you wonder why more people don’t make Vodka-Lite - another name for potato wine. Probably because it takes six months to ferment and Russians can’t wait that long.

Potato Wine or Vodka Lite

Serving Size : 1 Gallon
Ingredients:
3 pounds potatoes
4 pounds sugar
4 ounces of Chopped green or light colored raisins
2 lemons
2 oranges
1 tablespoon yeast (wine yeast works best)
1 teaspoon yeast nutrient (if unavailable use 2 more lemons)

Wash and scrub potatoes remove eyes and black spots. However, do not peel the potatoes. Grate potatoes into large pot and add 3 quarts of water. Bring to a boil and simmer fro a bout 15 minutes. Remove any scum that may be floating on top as it contains impurities you do not want in your wine. Continue to simmer until scum ceases to come up. Place the raisins and sugar into a two gallon (or bigger) container that you can put a lid on. Strain the water onto the raisins. Juice the oranges and lemons. Add yeast nutrient and enough water to make the whole amount into one gallon. Let the juice (also called must) sit for about a week. Make sure it is loosely covered so that air gets out but not in. (The fermentation will ensure that the air pressure forces the air out of the container. Siphon the must into a one gallon container with an airlock. (A balloon with a big mouth can be used in place of the airlock.) Transfer the wine into another gallon jug after about ten days to get rid of the sediment that gathers at the bottom of the jug. Let the wine sit in the second jug for about 6 months. The wine may then be bottled. Wait another 6 months to drink.

Vodka Lite doesn’t have the alcohol content of regular vodka, so the disclaimer here is the chorus of ‘Let’s Go Get Stoned’

Aint no harm, in having a little taste
Just don’t you fall down and mess up the man’s place
Ain’t no harm, in having a little sip
Just don’t you fall down, and bust your lip