Kentucky Tortured Chicken
Moscow witnessed an unusual demo this week..
Girls in yellow bikinis locked themselves in a cage outside Moscow’s Kentucky Fried Chicken while brandishing the slogan: KFC Tortures Chicks.
According to PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), the birds’ wings and legs are broken and chickens are parboiled while fully conscious.
I fancy myself as a bit of a chef and I confess I hadn’t yet come across this novel way with chicken. Of course, Colonel Sanders’ recipe is a closely-guarded secret. But since you can’t keep anything secret on the Internet, my investigations were quickly directed to Top Secret Recipes dot com - which has the skinny on everything from Heinz Salad Cream to Applebee’s chili ice cream sauce.
Top Secret lists a couple of the Colonel’s chicken methods - original and extra crispy - though neither explain how you get a live chicken into the pressure cooker or covered in breadcrumbs. According to insiders, KFC’s ‘extra crispy’ clucker (new word I learned, is an old chicken a motherclucker?) isn’t parboiled anyway, it’s double-dipped in the deep fryer.
The pretty protesters may well have a point about modern animal husbandry. You really don’t want to know how anything gets to your restaurant table these days. So I wondered why KFC and faraway Moscow should be singled out. Especially by the US based PETA.
And who cares about animal rights anyway? Russians are fairly comfortable with their brutal human history. Maybe even a KGB version of finger lickin’ good - translated for the Russian market as toenail pullin’ good - would carry more local appeal than KFC’s slogan. Come to think of it, the chickens could be killed more humanely than in any battery farm by being thrown from the top of the Spasskaya tower in Red Square strapped to a heavy weight, in the same way as Ivan the Terrible amused himself with dogs.
Just think, then you’d really get home-killed Russian chicken worthy of any Colonel Sanders’ franchise - freshly scraped off the cobbles, legged round the corner to KFC and double-dip fried straight to your table.
But just maybe, again, Moscow was singled out because the US is a bit sensitive about its torture activities these days. I mean, why isn’t the US PETA protesting closer to home? Perhaps the factory chickens even reach Russian KFC franchises by means of those ‘extraordinary rendition’ flights, after stopping off at the CIA’s Bulgarian interrogation camp for a tortuous lashing with marinade.
Can’t help thinking that girls in yellow bikinis have better things to do, if not better things to protest about.
your right, there are much better things to protest about. it’s not that i enjoy knowing animals are being tortured but there are plenty of cases in the world where people are getting tortured and nobody cares. world is not perfect and life is not fair, but if i have to choose between animal and human, i’ll take the second choice.
Actually, KFC locations across the US are regularly targeted by PETA activists. I’ve been harassed many times just for walking past one. You ought to take your eyes out for a stroll around the newspaper world a bit more.
The more interesting question (too bad you didn’t ask it) is whether any Russians ever protest the barbaric kitchen-related activities of Russian restaurants, or whether they only attack foreign institutions, such that they are really just expressing xenophobia rather than a love of animals.
Russians are happy to rush into the streets and protest when NATO bombs Yugoslavia, but when Russia bombs Chechnya they are mum. Could it be a pattern?
I agree with you on one point, Russophobe. Another interesting question to ask would be whether the yellow bikini girls had become vegans, as there is almost no other way of avoiding ‘intensive farming’these days.
Protesting NATO is perfectly understandable. It is a clear and present danger to Russia and Yugoslavia was part of the planned encirclement - the ‘lily pad of bases’ as Rumsfeld describes it. And by the way, just as many Western Europeans protested NATO bombing Europe as Russians.
who cares
YES I AGREE WHO CARES WORRY ABOUT THE TROUBLES OF MAN BEFOR THE TROUBLES OF ANIMALS………
I LOVE ANIMALS THEY TASTE GOOD
I always support the cause of PETA.:*.
my friends and i are all members of PETA, we love to protect animals~;.
i would love to be a member of PETA, i love to protect animals rights;~;
i always admire PETA, they really protect some of the helpless animals on this planet ,.~
Will you be focused on swapping hyperlinks?