Copydude has re-located to another part of the Soviet Empire and is currently in East Berlin, DDR.

He now blogs occasionally when overcome with Ostalgia at:

copydude.wordpress.com

Some archive footage here, to the accompaniment of the Red Army Choir.

In one of the earliest Victory Day parades, around 50,000 German prisoners of war were marched through the streets of Moscow. They weren’t allowed to break out of line and many soiled themselves.

On the whole, Russian citizens were not disrespectful - some even threw bread to the German soldiers.

The Victory Day song, Den Pobedi, was specially commissioned in the 1970s but at first it was not considered appropriate by the authorities. They complained that it ‘abused the rhythms of tango and foxtrot’ - bourgeois dances frowned upon by Stalin.

However, popular Soviet singer Lev Leshchenko performed the song on TV in defiance of the censors, after which it became the standard song of all Victory Day celebrations.

‘Operation Barbarossa’ was Hitler’s plan to defeat Russia in 4 months flat. Yet it wasn’t until 4 years later, on May 9th., 1945, that the German Army surrendered in Berlin. During this time, at least 25 million former Soviet citizens lost their lives in the most gruesome, tragic and wasteful way possible.

It was a war of fluctuating fortunes in which the Wehrmacht Generals came within binocular sight of all the Barbarossa objectives: Moscow, Leningrad and Stalingrad. But the protracted war left the German forces stretched and depleted and by 1943 Russia had the initiative. Even so, pressing it home meant fighting not only the Germans but Nazi allies from Finland to Romania.

You can follow all the events of the war on the excellent Pobediteli site, an interactive Flash presentation complete with maps, moving front line, annotations, archive pictures and audio clips of combatants from the many theatres of war.

It will take you a couple of hours to follow the entire timeline but it’s quite fascinating to watch the war unfold and to play General yourself, and to imagine what you might have done differently.

The tipping points are well highlighted. Russia moved all its factories East as early as 1941. Between July and November of that year some 1500 factories and 10 million people had been evacuated to places like Gorki and Chelyabinsk - still remembered today as ‘Tankograd’. So by the summer of 1942, the Russian war engine was fully functioning and competing with German production.

The Germans, to their advantage, had vast pools of slave labour from the occupied territories like Belarus . . . but unwilling and unfed labour didn’t match the productivity of dedicated Soviet workers. After a while, the Germans discovered that 60% of the 3,5 million slavs they put in labour camps early on were dying within 6 months, thanks to inhuman conditions. No personnel management stars earned by Germans here.

Another interesting highlight is of course the point at which Hitler ‘lost the plot’. By 1943, Stalin was devolving power to clever Generals he had learned to trust, while an increasingly paranoid Hitler as wresting powers from strategic command and firing those with more military competence than himself.

But none of these factors takes away the heroic defence of cities like Odessa, Leningrad and Staliningrad, which was largely down to the iron will and resolution of ordinary citizens. A little known fact is that the average Russian’s weapon of choice in Staliningrad was a spade, lethally sharpened on three sides. City combat was too fast and close to pull or load a gun.

The Pobediteli site has won several awards including ‘Internet Event Of The Year, 2005′.

By 1962, the Space Race between Russia and the US became more of a propaganda race. That’s when Kruschev personally intervened in the whole Russian Space programme. The idea of the ‘first woman in space’ was his personal dream.

Russia’s director of the Soviet Space Programme, Sergei Korolev, wanted techno advances: longer flights, space stations and docking manouevres. But Kruschev wanted a Soviet Heroine. Otherwise, he told Korolev bluntly, he wasn’t signing off on the budget.

That’s briefly how Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman cosmonaut. But she had to fight off three other female contestants on the way.

The propaganda message was clear. ‘With the miracle of Soviet technology, anyone can ride around in space. Up yours America‘. So the authorities cast around to find an ordinary, Soviet working girl. What better choice than Valentina. She grew up on a collective farm and worked in a textile factory in Yaroslavl. Soviet X-Factor, role model de-luxe.

From thousands of applicants, four girls including Valentina were chosen for the contest, all on the basis of their woman-in-the-street qualifications. Sure they underwent physical training, parachute jumps and classroom work but, unlike the male Russian cosmonauts, actual flying hours were set aside. In fact, none of the girls ever flew anything solo. Kruschev relied on Korolev’s genius to remote control the flights. And if Korolev couldn’t come up with the goods, Kruschev threatened, he would be dumped for his rival, Vladimir Chelomei.

What happened to the other three ‘Miss Kosmos’ contestants - Tanya, Irina and Ludmila - remains a mystery to this day. A listening post in Italy insists that one female cosmonaut burned up on re-entry and even provided a recording of the harrowing, last conversation. The whole episode became the subject of a documentary on History Channel, along with the many conspiracy theories that Gagarin never flew in space at all.

Respected researchers like James Oberg and Sven Grahn, however, pretty well demolish these theories. All the same, Valentina’s contemporaries on the mission disappeared without trace and one, Ludmila, was only ever known by her first name. When asked directly about this in a press interview in the West, Valentina ordered the journalist out of the room. Touchy subject, obviously.

For the rest, Valentina more than fulfilled her propaganda assignment. Her quotable quotes include such things as:

‘Since 1917, Soviet women have had the same rights as men. They are workers, engineers, aviators . . . and now the nation has selected me to be a cosmonaut. As you can see on earth, at sea and in the sky, Soviet women are the equal of men.’

Within months, Valentina’s talent for saying the right thing propelled her to stardom as well as the nearest thing to a royal marriage available in Soviet Russia. She married another cosmonaut from the space programme, Andrian Nikolayev, although again many say this was arranged by Kruschev. Certainly the couple split up soon afterwards.

The Soviet Space Programme was fated with many untimely deaths. Even Gagarin didn’t live so many years to enjoy his fame. Still alive today, Tereshkova - mum of the first Space Baby - remains the real winner. And whatever happened to her contemporaries, she still isn’t saying, even after all these years.

(It was of course a fun promotion for the agency created for April 1)

The expanded EU seemed such a good idea at the time. Ring fence Russia, grab its traditional markets and inherit a vast pool of cheap, slav labour.

A couple of years ago I arrived in Tallinn to find the main drag into town completely dug up, all the way from the airport. The new crazy paving was in honour of George Bush’s one visit to Tallinn for a NATO Power Lunch. It reminded me of the old British Empire days, when poor natives would be given pics of Queen Victoria and Union Jacks to wave at some passing British dignitary, while strewing his path with flowers.

The EU might have remembered that the colonies soon became a huge liability. Or in more recent history, the horrendous cost of German re-unification. The City of Berlin has been bankrupt to the tune of billions ever since. West German taxpayers footed much of the bill for re-unification. But will the Germans or the French be as happy to fork out for the rest of the East?

The Baltic Business News is refreshingly one voice against wholesale bail out, arguing that it subsidizes the kind of profligate Government spending and lax lending that caused the problem in the first place. In many Eastern European countries, an ID card was all you needed to get a loan. In the same way, the UK is rightly criticised for rewarding failed banks with billions of taxpayers’ money to try and restart the cycle. Of course. It’s an earthquake policy, where you simply build back houses on the volcano.

The snag, however, is that Eastern Europe’s problems are now everybody else’s problem. Austria has the biggest exposure to Eastern Europe: $289 billion or 70% of its GDP, of which there’s $44 billion to Romania, $37 billion to Hungary, $22.4 billion to Russia and $14.3 billion to Ukraine. Buying up the old Soviet Union didn’t come cheap. A worsening situation in any of these countries could easily take Austria down with it and tip over a few dominoes. It has happened before.

In the 1930s, the turmoil caused by the collapse of Austrian bank Creditanstalt was so intense that it lengthened the Great Depression in the United States by at least two years. In 1931, Austrian bank Creditanstalt, owned by Europe’s famous Rothschild banking family, went under, sparking a run on other Austrian financial institutions that soon spread disastrously across the globe. The ensuing panic decimated bank after bank and is considered the trigger of the Great Depression.

Well there’s a sobering thought, especially when you consider that the German Landesbank, France’s Societe Generale, Swedbank and Italy’s Unicredit also have billions on the line.

In this situation, it’s fairly clear that the IMF, EU central bank and so on will be effectively bailing the Western banks by proxy. The Eastern countries will simply be a conduit. A major chunk of the IMF’s recent loan to Iceland was earmarked for foreign debt repayment. And everyone will recall what happened in Russia after the rouble crash. Some of the IMF money didn’t even reach Russia, turning up variously in Switzerland, London and, infamously, in the Bank of New York. Meanwhile the conditions of the loan threw millions of ordinary Russians into poverty.

So, bailed or not, Eastern Europeans are looking at a long term future of being debt slaves to Western Europe. It’s not easy to see (understatement) how this will contribute to the harmony of the EU. The recent protests in Georgia and Moldova appeared to me to be as much economic unrest as political dissent. Or at the least, a tangible mood of failed expectations. Latvia has seen ‘econoriots’ already - most recently about teacher’s pay cuts. There’s unrest in Czech and Hungary too, where the IMF cure is already being experienced as worse than the disease.

Becoming Europe’s poor relations, in hock to Western loansharks, might be preferable to being under the Soviet jackboot. But you wonder whether some Eastern European countries may decide that it isn’t what they signed up for.

Despite the fabled sexual exploits of Russian Women, it isn’t resulting in a whole heap of babies.

At least every couple of weeks you will read some news story about Russia’s demographic meltdown. Yet another article I came across only yesterday: ‘Russia’s Depopulation Time Bomb‘.

Yes, likely there will be millions fewer Russians in 2050 than now.

Many theories are advanced, citing everything from the lack of suitable partners to the idea that skinny culture has Darwinistically removed childbearing hips from Russia’s dyevs.

There’s plenty of free advice for Russia too. In the Hindu Times, a leading feminist, believes that Indian men are the answer.

Maria Arbatova, writer and TV moderator, has proposed a radical solution to the falling birth rate — importing Indian bridegrooms for Russian girls. Maria married an Indian businessman a few years ago ‘after 25 years of marrying Russians’ and discovered that Indian men make ideal husbands.

‘They are crazy about family and children,’ she said. ‘What is more, Indian bridegrooms can help ward off a Chinese demographic invasion in Russia. If we do not balance off the Chinese with Indians, Africans or aliens, by 2050 China will annex Russia’s Siberia up to the Ural Mountains.’

She could have a point, because the BBC reports that international size condoms are too big for an Indian-sized penis. Ergo, a chance of an accidental boost to the Russian population is greater with Indian lovers. I guess it’s just unfortunate that most Russians aren’t too comfortable around ‘tinted folk’.

A common cliche is that russophobes always single out Russia’s declining population as a bad thing, or certainly a reflection on Vlad the Bad. Yet all European families are downsizing. And thank goodness, say countries with armies of jobless.

Preston Saks, however, insists that the US will be stronger than Russia because it is still pumping out babies, while Russia, fast approaching just 100 million people, soon won’t have any young leaders at all. I wonder if this guy has ever heard of Holland, pop. just 14 million, where there’s some political activist at every tram stop. A lot of these arguments hold as much water as a paper bag.

The Time Bomb article puts drink at the heart of the problem. But the facts suggest quite another conclusion.

Between 1976 and 1991, the last sixteen years of Soviet power, the country recorded 36 million births. In the sixteen post-Communist years of 1992–2007, there were just 22.3 million, a drop in childbearing of nearly 40 percent from one era to the next.

On the other side of the life cycle, a total of 24.6 million deaths were recorded between 1976 and 1991, while in the first sixteen years of the post-Communist period the Russian Federation tallied 34.7 million deaths, a rise of just over 40 percent.

The symmetry is striking: in the last sixteen years of the Communist era, births exceeded deaths in Russia by 11.4 million; in the first sixteen years of the post-Soviet era, deaths exceeded births by 12.4 million.

Well, that’s pretty clear. Capitalism is bad for your health.

An interesting thing about Russian Fashion Week is that it was opened by a 70 year old, Slava Zaitsev, and is dedicated to Diaghilev, which serves to remind us how long Russians have been ultra fashionistas.

Doom and gloom reports in the press might focus on the ‘couture crunch’ - Stella McCartney and Diesel have pulled out of Russia recently - but austerity and reigns of terror have never dampened Russian talent or enthusiasm.

And what’s a couture crunch exactly? More ugly journo jargon of the week speaks of de-premiumization — meaning that shoppers are trading down for cheaper items. Sorry, but nice clothes have always been must-haves for Russian girls, even if it’s a passion born of deprivation.

During Soviet shortages, Western styles would be carefully copied from imported movies and run up at home, so everyone could be a la mode. Up-to-the-minute looks to sweep Soviet Russia included Barbara Streisand’s funny girl hairdo, again mostly recreated in the kitchen. Well, perhaps not quite up to the minute since Soviets only got the film 15 years after release, but you get the idea. There’s not much resourceful Russians can’t do at home and anecdotal evidence suggests the long queues outside Soviet shops were more likely to be for things like a good pair of tights than bread.

So in Moscow, Spanish designer Francesc, isn’t making any concessions to recession. Though he notes that his dark colours can be mixed and matched easily, which might translate into economies of wardrobe. But really, the ticket on the outfit is largely irrelevant. A fun old Vogue article insists that looking good in Moscow is ‘all about having a car and driver idling day and night. Which is why you can wear Marc Jacobs round-toed red patent-leather platforms or silver snakeskin spike-heeled boots with a tiny skirt and a chinchilla shrug when there’s a foot of slush on the ground.’ Unquote.

It’s only recently been acknowledged that Russian women are simply world class at dressing up so it’s good of Zaitsev to remind us about Diaghilev, whose costumes outspectacled anything Paris could offer as long ago as 1912. For those who didn’t grow up with the Ballet Russe, Russian talent might have been spotted earlier, since Zaitsev created stunning costumes for the 1980 Moscow Olympics.That many nations stayed away from that bash was absolutely their loss. Even a hairy armpitted shot putter looked good in Zaitsev shorts. In the opposite way, Russian actress Chulpan Khamatova (below left - Goodbye Lenin) can comfortably wear the tackiest outfit or East German drabs. With Eastern European girls and clothes, this talent is something very deep in the genes.

Much of Diaghilev’s genius was commissioning designers from other disciplines and getting them into textiles. Diaghilev must surely be the greatest impresario who ever lived and he was never afraid of taking a shot at the shocking. That the young Stravinsky’s ‘Rite Of Spring’ was booed offstage didn’t deter him at all from coming out with even more outrageous scores and costumes. By coincidence, poet and couturier Zaitsev originally studied chemistry and technology of all things.

Despite some fairly unwelcome articles in the media designed to diss Fashion Week in Moscow, it’s got to be a more appealing show than the simultaneous G20 event in London. Certainly the current G20 world leaders will be lucky to be around as long as Slava Zaitsev.

Around a week ago, billionaire Alexander Antonov was shot in Kaliningrad. By some miracle, 18 bullets didn’t kill him - he took five in the stomach, one in the chest and one blew off a finger.

It isn’t clear exactly whom he’d upset but a glance at his CV reveals that he was president of no less than five banks. Banksters aren’t flavour of the month anywhere. At the same time, in the UK, youths were busy vandalising the home of Sir Freddie Goodwin, disgraced former chief of RBS. Now in America, AIG employees are demanding extra security, noting some public ire about their obscene bonuses. Some claim to be living in fear.

When money goes walkabout, it can get nasty. During Russia’s rouble crash, banksters were the biggest target for hitmen with over 90 blown away in one year. The oligarchs aren’t too happy about this crash either. The 32 Russians on Forbes world richlist have lost a combined total of 250 billion since last year.

In contrast to Western governments throwing money at banksters, Russia isn’t buying the ‘too big to fail’ argument from a bunch of crooks. There was a 50 billion fund set aside with the State Development Bank, but with the plummeting oil price this has been mostly frozen. It could be needed to quell social unrest. Meanwhile. Medvedev has told the metal and mining barons they’ll have to reschedule their own debts, even if it means giving equity away to foreign investors.

The most knotty problems, however, are inter-oligarch disputes. For example, Mikhail Fridman’s Alfa Bank wants a billion right now from Oleg Deripaska’s RUSAL . . . but that happens to be 14bn short. Oleg can’t raise anything against his GAZ auto company because Vladimir Lisin of Novolipetsk Steel is owed so much by GAZ he’s forcing bankruptcy. Which in turn doesn’t go down a storm with the investment oligarchs who will lose a few billion staked in GAZ.

The debt-go-round has become so huge and interwoven that it seems to be taking all the oligarchs down together. Perhaps some minor disputes will still be ‘worked out’ in a doorway. For the most part though, it’s looking like the end of era - and a very short list of Russians on Forbes next year.

Do you have a signature cocktail? Neither do I but apparently we should. According to the NYT’s ‘Alcohol And Life‘ section (now there’s a section header), what we choose to drink can reveal more about us than, say, our astrological sign or whether we prefer Elvis or the Beatles.

Google notes that the signature cocktail trend has spawned many consultancies, offering highly trained mixologists to synthesize your trademark swallow.

It might be news to some but Venedikt Yerofeyev - author of Moskva - Petushki - was inventing signature cocktails back in the 1960s. These comprised mainly of beer, shampoo, insecticide and brake fluid. Although the cocktails in the book were largely a hallucination, Russian soldiers were indeed known to syphon brake fluid from vehicles for a shot. Which gives a whole new meaning to the phrase ‘don’t drink and drive’.

So what’s a Russian mixer today? Well, my landlady in Novgorod, who’d never heard the term signature cocktail, used to make one from Martini, coffee and 100% pure alcohol, otherwise known as surgical spirit. It is widely believed that Russian women don’t drink, but they are just a bit more discreet about it and tend to not sleep in doorways afterwards.

Real men don’t drink cocktails, but the huge success of Damskaja shows that women will pay some 300 roubles a bottle for a hit. Made in St Petersburg, it’s basically a vodka cocktail which comes in flavours like lime, vanilla and almond. It’s positioned as an accompaniment to salads or as a pick-me-up after aerobics, though the health pitch hasn’t fooled Russian doctors. Sales escalating over 2 million bottles sounds like a lot of liver damage to them.

Trendy Damskaja is the nearest Russian drink I can find to a signature cocktail. Maybe someone will write in and tell me if there’s an equivalent phrase in Russian.