Honestly. What is all this energy fuss about? What would a country like Belarus do with oil or gas, except to sell it on to its hateful Euro-neighbours at a vastly inflated profit?

You Western bloggers know nothing. Ever been to Belarus? Didn’t think so. Well let me tell you, it’s clockwork central. And the national industry is basket-weaving. That should tell you something.

Let me introduce you to some of the leading products of Belarus’ Basketry-Industrial-Complex.

Below is Lydia Glovatskaya’s, ‘Big Cock’. No, I’m not making this up. It was one of the entries in Minsk’s ‘Festival Of Staw’ 2005.

Belarus also features in the Eurobasket championships. No, I’m not making this up either. The Belarus basketball teams excel, particularly when beating the shit out of Ukraine.

OK. You all think you know about Belarus. So who was Miss Basket 2004? You probably didn’t even know that there is a town called Slutsk in Belarus. Though as it happens, our Miss World entry in that year, Olga Antropova, came from Polotsk.

Glamorous Olga recalls: ‘During the Miss Belarus contest, I mixed my shoes up and put the left one on the right foot and the right one on the left one.’